


Kintsugi

by Ccaprico



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Scars, kind of, more fluff than anything else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ccaprico/pseuds/Ccaprico
Summary: A new planet and an invitation to the ball puts Shiro in an awkward situation, though the princess might be able to help.





	Kintsugi

"Come on, Shiro!" Lance whined, holding up the offending material for the black paladin. The fabric was black, thin enough to be used as gauze and decorated with golden, cursive swirls, the kind that might be seen back on earth.

Shiro smiled as best as he could. There was no way he was wearing something like that around Arra. "One of us has to remain on guard. It wouldn't be fair on Coran if we left him in charge all alone. You go. You guys deserve a break."

They knew little about Arra, a planet of deserts and sand dunes and one of the few planets that avoided contact with the Galra for the past ten thousand years. Where woman wore long, flowing dresses of layered silk and the men wore sarongs so small they barely covered their crotch. Shiro was less keen about the latter part, if only for when Lance presented him with his own sarong to wear.  

"You went through the same," Keith pointed out, walking up behind the pair. Even he was dressed in the traditional dress code, the vibrant red standing out against his pale skin. "Lance should stay behind – he’s the one who doesn’t do anything."

Lance scowled, rolling his eyes. "Why don't you make him stay behind? I'm sure he'd enjoy it more than socialising. The two of us could go drinking Shiro. _Drinking_.”

“In the morning?” Keith said.

“Yes,” Lance snapped. “Got a problem with that? We could even pick up a few girls!”

"Nope. Not happening." Shiro wasn’t even going to entertain the idea.

Lance moaned. "Come on - !"      

"-What's taking you guys so long?!"

Pidge's voice cut through the bay like a knife. She made it clear when they landed that the situation wasn't her cup of tea, the sand and heat doing nothing to temper her mood.  She would jump at the chance to stay behind, which is why he wouldn’t let it get that far. Of all the things the universe threw at him, could it leave him alone for just one minute?

"Nothing, they'll be over in a sec!" Shiro turned to the pair, face stern.  "This isn't negotiable. I'm tired, and probably not the best company in this kind of heat. Just... go enjoy yourselves. And I promise I'll go out with you later, Lance."

Maybe it was the tone of voice, or perhaps Keith caught something in his face he didn’t mean to let go, but for once he relented. "We get it." Keith tugged Lance toward the door, ignoring the strangled complaint from the blue paladin. "Come on, Lance."

Lance mouth hung open, but he allowed himself to be dragged out the opening bays without much fuss, only glancing back when they reached the desert floor. Shiro almost sighed in relief when they disappeared out of sight.  It was close, and he promised something he would probably regret later on, but they went without him. That was the only thing that mattered.

He strode toward the exit, fully prepared for a harsh session with the gladiator, but life was never that simple for him. There was a flash of white, a click as the door slid open, and then the princess stood in front of him. She jumped when she saw him, her face bursting into a smile. "Shiro, you scared me!” She laughed - a short, soft thing that made his heart jump. “I thought all the paladin's had left!"

"They did, I -" he cleared his throat, trying not to trip up on his words. "I decided to stay behind - to make sure everything's under control,” he added, catching the furrow in her brow. She looked beautiful, the fine silks hanging in rivers of white and gold from her shoulders, and her silver hair pinned up into an intricate bun. _Like a princess._

Her smile faded, slipping into something akin to concern. "Shiro, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, cheeks warming. "I just don't want a re-run of Arus.”

She saw right through him, if the cock of her brow was anything to go by. "I doubt the natives are going to steal anything, Shiro. Last time we were ten-thousand years behind, and that was only because we opened the gates that they got in. Besides -” she stepped forward. “The castle has its own protective measures, remember?”

Shiro‘s heart hammered in his chest. Of course he didn’t forget, but it was the best excuse he could come up with on such short notice. She was so close he could smell her perfume, something sweet and summer-y. Or maybe it was all in his head. “But just to be safe –“

"Is it something one of the paladin's did?" She asked, cutting him off. How could she not hear his heart with how fast it was beating?

"N-No." He leant back, putting distance between the two of them, but the move wasn’t missed by Allura.

She recoiled. "Is it something I did?"

"Of course not," Shiro said, and it’s probably the most truthful thing he’s said all day. The half-truths and not-quite-lies were exhausting and not at all what he wanted coming from his mouth, but it was better than the truth. He raised his hands as a peace offering. "I'm just not in the mood to deal with everyone's antics. It’s nothing - really!"

Maybe it sounded rude to anyone else, but Allura understood what he meant. Sometimes they needed a little time to themselves, without worrying about the other paladins. They spend hours on end talking about it, long after the others had gone to sleep and Coran had made his final rounds. What it was like to be a person again, not worrying about an entire planet’s life or the future or how to lead a war against an empire.

"Okay," she said, her shoulders sagging. "I can appreciate that, but... you can talk to me, okay?" She coughed, and for a moment the tips of her ears looked… red? No, he must be imagining it. "And the paladins, of course! And Coran. We're here for you."

"Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” He shuffled toward the door, forcing down the small part of himself that wanted to follow her down the ramp, to let her know just how much of a broken man he really was. If she asked him to, he wouldn’t have the strength to say no. “You should probably go catch up with them - before any of them end up dead."

Allura laughed, flashing him a smile. "Don't even joke about that. Good-bye, Shiro."

She walked down the hangar’s doors and onto the cracked ground, and Shiro could finally breathe again. Maybe he would be able to go through this trip without anyone seeing them.

“You’d look good in that, you know. I picked it out especially.”

Shiro’s heart stopped.

Allura bolted before he could say anything, leaving him in the dust. She picked it out for him? Did she mean good in a friend kind of way, or good in a sexual kind of way? He forced down a biting laugh. Would she still find him attractive if she knew about the scars, the mauled skin and disfigured flesh? Allura deserved someone who wasn’t broken.

He shook his head, putting Allura’s final words out of his head. She didn’t mean anything by them…

Right?

 

* * *

 

 

There was a spot in the public bathrooms, across the floating pool and the spa house, which was covered floor-to-ceiling in mirrors. It wasn’t a place he was accustomed to – in fact, it’s a place he avoided on his best days – and yet, he still wound up in front of them. The scarred man was one he knew too well, and the more armour he removed, the more under suit pulled down, the more he was glad he didn’t go with them.

It wasn’t... _bad_. The druid’s medicine turned the scars white in a matter of days, and he wasn’t ashamed of them. The one on his chest, the claw marks on his stomach and back, the slash between his shoulder and neck - all of them could have killed him, but he endured, pushing on through the pain. He was almost proud of himself for surviving so much.

It’s just... compared to the past, he was once so much more.

A blur of blue and orange caught his eye, and suddenly a very familiar face was standing by the door frame. There was no time to covers his scars – no time to do anything as Coran slipped to the side, moustache twiddling.  

"I thought I'd find you here,” he said, smiling bright, as though the horror on Shiro’s face wasn’t there. "Allura's said you seemed off. I'm guessing these have something to do with it?" He nodded to the scars on his stomach. "Are you worried about how they look? Or is it something else?"

Coran walked over, stopping just behind him. He... was different from the Paladins. Different from Allura. The fear he felt dissipated almost as quickly as it came, replaced with something mellower. He could keep a secret, unlike a certain blue paladin. He wouldn't spill anything Shiro didn't want, and he wouldn't hold it against him. Besides, he already saw the worst of it - no point in hiding anything.

"It's not how they look," said Shiro, hesitating. "It's more what they represent."

Coran cocked a brow, waiting for him to continue. "It's - there's an idea, where I come. Kintsugi.” It had been so long since he’d said something in Japanese, the words foreign on his tongue. Yet another thing the Galra took for him, a part which he forgot amongst the fights and responsibility. “It means things are more beautiful when they've been damaged.”

Coran hummed, mulling the idea over in his head. "It’s a nice idea - for a human," he remarked, shooting Shiro a half-smile. "What's the problem, then?"

"It's hard to explain. Kintsugi is to do with breakage and repair - the history of the object. Accepting that something’s happened, and loving it for that. But... I can't accept the scars. They bring back – “

"The gladiator arena?”

Shiro nodded. "The scars I can deal with. But if the paladins start asking questions, I - I don't think I can answer them."

God – the leader of the paladins, the universe’s greatest hope, and he couldn’t even answer a couple of questions.  Maybe he was more broken than he thought.

"They wouldn't say anything if you asked them," Coran murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder. "They wouldn't judge you."

Shiro glanced at Coran's face. "What about the public? Scars are pretty universal. It’s not exactly fun knowing everyone’s looking at you. "

"I thought you’d be used to it by now,” Coran chuckled, but caught himself a moment later, realising something. “Is that why you didn't go with the others?"

"I could've probably gotten away with going in my paladin armour, but with this ball coming up, I don't know what to do." The party in their name is supposed to be a gesture of kindness, but to Shiro it was more like a death sentence. The expectation of wearing traditional clothes wore on his conscience since the moment it was brought up.

"...Have you told the princess about this? She’s quite convincing. I’m sure she could get you in your own clothes, not these skimpy things." As if to make a point, Coran grimaced at his blue and orange sarong, not that it fooled him. The look of absolute joy on his face when Allura gave him one in his own colour scheme was one of the only good things to come from this trip so far.

"I should - I will.” Perhaps if he said it enough times he might convince himself it wasn’t a terrible idea. Coran wouldn’t let it go, though. The moment Allura came back with the rest of the paladins, and his fate was sealed.

"Glad we've sorted that out,” said Coran, looking content. “You don’t need to tell the princess anything if you don’t want, but for your own sake, sort it out. You can’t keep yourself hidden forever, number one.”

"Thanks, Coran."

 

* * *

 

 Shiro balanced on the balls of his feet, glancing at the door hanger.

The paladins and Allura returned to the castle of lions just when the sun began to set, telling him about the capital, its culture and its food. And it sounded incredible, from the pepplestone pathways to the busying marketplace. All of the paladins - even Hunk - forced him to agree to come out the next day.

So now he stood, at approximately seven o'clock in the morning, waiting for the rest of the paladins to wake up.

Maybe he was slightly over-prepared. So what if he changed into his sarong before the first stirring of life passed through the castle? It was as comfortable as it looked - like a larger, more intricate gauze wrapped around his hips, skin laid bare for anyone to see. Any stranger could see his past carved onto his flew. The paladins - and Allura -

"...Shiro?"

His heart nearly jumped out of his chest as he span around. Allura, but her voice sounded... off. Quieter, cloaked in sleep and fatigue. His throat tightened.

She was already dressed, this time in robes of vibrant pink and silver. He tried to catch her eyes, but Allura wasn't looking at him.

She wasn't looking at his face.

His stomach flexed when he followed her gaze, already knowing where the path led. It was expected, he told himself, biting the coils in his stomach down. Anyone would look at them look at them. It meant nothing... but there was something about Allura staring at his chest, with an expression he couldn't place - confusion? Disgust? Or something deeper – that sent shivers down his spine.

"Allura," he said, as casual as possible, but he’s sure it sounded stiff. He could worry about that later. "What are you doing up here?"

Her gaze never moved from his chest, flicking from his pectorals to his abs. "I..." Her voice faltered, and his heart crushed. "I... came to see you."

Shiro licked his suddenly dry lips. "Well, you found me."

He couldn't think of what to say, what to do. Allura stared at his scars, not even trying to hide her horror. She was disgusted by them.

Bile burned the back of his throat.

Allura caught herself moments too late, forcing a smile on her face that fooled neither of them. "Are – Are you coming today?"

Suddenly it doesn’t seem like such a good idea. He’d ruin it for them - either with his scars of his attitude. The day would fall apart if he went - there’s no way they could actually want him to come

His eyesight blurred. He was woozy, blinking spots out of his eyes. He might be breathing, or he might be suffocating - he couldn’t tell anymore. It felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest and burst, his skin crawled and his stomach flipped. This was a terrible idea, he should just –

A hand touched his arm, and suddenly Allura’s there, shaking his bicep with a bit of her Altean strength. She’s saying something... something he can’t make out, but if he focused on her, the movement of her lips, the curls of her hair, everything moved back into focus.

“- Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

He sounded woozy, drunk off his own fears, but it was enough for Allura’s brow to ease. Her lips twisted into a grim smile. “I lost you for a minute there.”

“Yeah, well –“ he coughed. “I’m not feeling too good. I think I’m just going to lie down – “

“Don’t.”

The hand on his bicep tightened, playing on the edge of being painful. And then, when it was obvious Shiro was too shocked to move, it slipped down, past his forearm and threading between his fingers. He stared at her, then to the hand now in his own, then back to her. Was she… blushing?

Allura doesn’t sound at all like the leader he knew she was when she spoke next, the tilt of her head making it difficult to hear. “Do you - perchance - want to - get some breakfast?”

It took a moment for Shiro to process what Allura said, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop himself. _It wasn’t a date_ , this was just as friends.

 “Okay. Sure.”

 

* * *

 

Betra, the capital of Arra, was a huge city made up of large, white stones and lush wildlife. Despite the impressive buildings, the ground was dirt and the roads were filled to the brim with market stalls, selling bright powders and spices, silk cloth and food. Pidge wasn’t kidding when they said everyone only wore sarongs and dresses; if Shiro had come out yesterday in his paladin armour, he would've stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the bizarre bodies of the Arrans.

"So..." Shiro began, once they were in the thick of the marketplace and Allura stopped dragging him along. It only took about ten minutes for Shiro to get completely lost in the chaos, but Allura managed to look perfectly at ease. "Where did you guys go yesterday?"

"We spent most of the time up in the palace," she said, pointing to the building at the centre of the city. Even without Allura pointing to it, Shiro would've easily guessed that was the palace. From the huge structure of spirals and columns traditional of castles, as well as the huge set of stairs leading to the entrance, was enough to give it away. “We also went down to the market, and a small café. That’s where we’re going now, actually.”

"Huh. You're telling me you managed to get Lance and Keith up those stairs?" Shiro cocked his brow. "I’m impressed."

"Yes. Their paladin training led up to their greatest challenge yet.” Shiro snorted. "It's really is impressive - I'm not denying that. It's just...  not what I'm used to."

"You grew up in a giant space castle, surrounded by sentient lions. You could go anywhere in the universe and it wouldn’t be what you're used to."

"It's not that strange!" Allura laughed.

"No, of course not. Not at all. Completely normal."

"I'm serious!"

"Sorry," he said, a smile working its way onto his face. “But you have to admit, your life it quite a lot different than… well, everyone’s."

"I wouldn't know.” Her eyes flickered to his chest again, and he almost forgot about his near nudity, lost in the moment. That was a good sign, right? She knew about the scars and she hadn’t bolted.

"What do you mean?"

Allura slowed, glancing at his face. "I mean, I don't know anything about earth. No-one seems to talk about it – not with me, at least.”

It was a sore topic for all of them, least of all Shiro. As morbid as it was, he could barely remember earth – not coherently, at least. It was all just a mash of memories in his head, strung together by hopes. “You do,” he said at last. She knew plenty - from his skills at the gym to his sleeping schedule.

Apparently, that wasn’t what she meant. "Nothing personal," she signed. "Not your family, or where you grew up. I know something about the other paladins, like... Hunk likes to cook, Pidge snuck into the garrison - and Lance loves to flirt. And Keith, who also went to the garrison, but got kicked out." Allura listed them off on one hand, holding them up for Shiro to see.

He blinked, even more lost. “You know those things about me, don’t you?”

 “Yeah, but for the amount of time we spend together – I just thought -“ she sighed, shaking her head as they turned left. “No. Never mind.”

"There's not much to tell, really."  His life had been relatively boring until sixteen, when he joined the Galaxy Garrison. "Did Lance tell you about how our planet's split into different sections?"

"Countries and continents, right?"

Shiro nodded. "I grew up in Japan. Uh, it's an island east of where Hunk and Lance grew up. My mum was Japanese, while my dad was Brazilian – I think."

"You think?" Allura stared at him, a flicker of confusion of her face.

"I never met him. He left when I was born."

"Is that common on Earth?" She asked, brows raised. "I've never heard of an Altean doing something like that."

That would explain the surprise. "It's frowned upon, but I'd say it's pretty common. Keith only knew his father before he left. "

"So he was left alone? How?"

"It just happens. Sometimes people sleep with each other without protection, and they give the child away. Or the parents fall out of love. There's loads of different reasons. We have things called orphanages for people without parents, where children can be picked up and looked after by another couple. That's where Keith went until he was old enough to leave."

"That sounds... hard,” Allura said, the wheels of her mind turning. “Alteans mate for life. I don't think I've ever known one to leave a bonding."

"A bonding?" Shiro blinked. "You mean like a wedding? Uh - like, a ceremony pronouncing two people together."

"That... sounds similar. But it's not the same. Can people revoke weddings? I thought so.  Bonding’s are for all eternity. You can't take it back - not that anyone's ever wanted to, of course!" She added quickly with a laugh.

Shiro was curious, but he didn’t push any further. Marriage and Bonding weren’t topics for early morning breakfast between two friends. Because they _were_ only two friends, even if he wanted it to be something else.

A comfortable silence fell between them as Allura led them to the café, taking a turn down a short alleyway leading to a large street.

“Wait – there it is!”

Allura’s hand caught his, dragging him to the entrance before he knew what was happening. It was impossible not to think about her palm in his, her skin soft to his callouses. And just like that he was blushing, putty in her hands as she sat down in one of the seats. It was a nice place, small and homely, with a bar to order food. He didn’t glance at the menu before Allura sat up again, ordering him to stay put as she went to get the food.

And just like that, she was gone.

He almost wanted to protest but thought better of it. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, let alone with Allura. He was just glad the scars weren’t brought up.

The others would be up by now, probably wondering where the black paladin and princess went. With a bit of luck, Shiro would be able to sneak on board the castle of lions without any of the paladins noticing. He could just say he was with Allura the entire time. They would buy that, right? Lance would pester him later on, but he could live with that.

Allura was at the front. Either it was a set menu or Allura already knew what to get, since he’s fairly sure she didn’t say anything to the cashier. She came back with a tray of food, carrying two large bowls of orange broth that she set on the table.

The rest of the morning went fast, filled with light conversation about anything and everything. After the café, Allura insisted on seeing the marketplace, and Shiro didn’t have the heart to say no. He caught people staring at his chest, or his arms, but no-one said anything to him. Maybe they thought it was something unique, or maybe they just didn’t care. Either way, Shiro was thankful.

The pair walked back to the castle of lions in a comfortable silence. The land burned underfoot, well into the day by the time they left the city’s parameters. How everyone managed to avoid burning the soles of their feet was beyond him.

“The city’s closed for the afternoon,” Allura said when he brought it up, stopping briefly in the shade of the hangar doors.  “Apparently the floor gets too hot to walk on.”

“Why don’t they just wear shoes?” That seemed like the obvious solution.

He got a laugh in response. “I don’t know. Perhaps it has something to do with their culture? Most planets don’t usually have such strict dress codes.”

“True.”

The hangar door opened a moment later, and - thank god. There were no paladins in sight. The gust of cool, fresh air was a chilling relief against his skin as they slipped into the bay, Shiro taking the lead. After so much time outside in the sun, the castle felt beyond freezing.

Something stopped him in his tracks. Petite hands wrapped around his chest, and a moment later a head pressed against his back.  Allura. He could feel her breath between his shoulder blades, tickling his skin, and a different type of shiver shot down his spine.

"Shiro, about earlier... I want to apologize."

His breath caught in his throat. Blood rushed to his face. "It's fine, princess."

"No, it isn't." He felt more than heard her sigh, her breath like fire against his skin. "I know I made you uncomfortable -  I know that. But you need to know - it - it wasn't the scars."

"Was it my muscles?"

God, that sounded cheesy, but the choked laugh from Allura was worth it. "A little bit. I... You've just been through so much, Shiro. I wish I could've done something."

This is what he was afraid of: people playing the blame game, feeling guilty for something they had no control over. It’s a game he played too much with himself, and he didn't need to bring that on the other paladins.

"You were asleep for ten thousand years. There's nothing you could do."

The silence between them was peaceful, like time stopped, leaving the two of them in their bubble of... whatever this was. It wasn't a bad way to go if he was honest. Alone with Allura for the rest of his life.

"Coran told me you might be more comfortable in the paladin armour, but I don’t think that’s possible.” She sighed again, hands slipping just a tad lower, and a new wave of blood shot down. “I understand if you want to stay behind instead of going to the ball… but if you want to go – I mean - I’d be happy to go with you.“

... He couldn't believe he was considering it. With Allura there... it could be nice. Or it could end in disaster. The other paladins would see his scars, and he didn't want them to worry. It wasn't fair on them to carry his burden.

"I'll consider it."

He could almost feel her disappointment, matched by his own when her hands withdrew. Their bodies had cooled, the air conditioning of the castle quickly becoming a pain. Maybe that's why she stayed close, her front pressed against his back. A certain part of his body definitely thought otherwise.

"I was right, you know," she murmured into his shoulders. "You do look good in it."

Fuck him and the blood rushing to his crotch. This was getting out of hand. "Princess -"

"- I need to check on something with Coran." She pulled away faster than he thought possible, head ducked down when she passed, making a beeline for the door.

"uh - see you soon?" Shiro choked, but she was already out of sight.

...What just happened?

 

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day passed without Shiro ever leaving the gym.

It turned out the paladins left for the marketplace before him and Allura got back – not that he could blame them. Allura mysteriously disappeared as well. On a ship as big as the castle of lions, it was impossible to tell if she had gone out like the rest of them, or if she was hiding away in some room no-one knew about.

At least it gave him plenty of time to think.

He wasn’t sure if he was thankful or not for Allura giving him a way out. He didn’t want the paladins see anything they shouldn’t, but he also wanted there to be no secrets between them. The more he covered himself up, the more it felt like he was being dishonest. Perhaps he was.

And the princess needed him. It may be a simple rest stop for them, but for the princess – and for Coran – it was an opportunity to form another coalition between the two planets, a step toward what the universe once was, before the Galra. That had to be more important than his desires.

It was ridiculous. The paladins proved time and time again they didn’t care what the Galra had done to him. Hell - Lance would probably think the scars were cool! Keith was the only one he could see being upset, but even then... there was nothing any of them could do about it.

There was just that small part of him – that tiny part – that told him they would leave. Ridiculous, but enough to hesitate.

Shiro stopped the training sequence dripping with sweat, his arms and legs shaking from fatigue. There was about an hour till the ball - enough time for a shower.

He glanced at the pile of silk abandoned in the corner of the gym. A gift from the princess, something that could bring everything crumbling all around him, something that brought everything he tried so hard to hide on the table.

Fuck it.

 

* * *

 

 

The pot of gold paint sat in the palm of his hand. Allura wore it– or some variation of it – whenever she went to formal events. _An Altean ritual_ , she said, painting swirls and lines across her fingers, _to honour the living._

His grandma always told him to stay true to his culture. He wouldn’t paint swirls on his body – Shiro wasn’t Altean, he had no right to something like that – but he was Japanese. And the Japanese believed in broken beauty.

So that’s what Shiro would do.

The first strip was cool against his skin, the brush smooth as he dragged it across the first few scars. It was the first scar he ever got in the arena, right across his stomach. He shouldn’t even be alive. Surviving such a wound on earth would be a miracle, but with druids practised in magic, the wound healed in hours.

The next was from a sword to the shoulder, and the one after that was bite mark. More and more of his wounds were filled in, hidden beneath a layer of gold.

Finally, it was the one of his face.

He couldn’t remember how he got it. Maybe it was one of the guards after he rebelled, or maybe it was from a muzzle biting into his skin – he didn’t know. It was the only one he couldn’t hide beneath a layer of cloth, the only one following him around everywhere he went, screaming to the world about his torture. His body remembered the pain, aching as he dragged the brush across the bridge of his nose.

And then it was done, glimmering in the lights like every other one on his front.

“You know, it would look a lot better if you had them all done.”

Shiro jumped, whirling around to see Coran. If he didn’t know any better, he would say the Altean was almost smug with himself. It wasn’t every day that the black paladin was caught off-guard, after all.  He raised a brow at Shiro, taking in his attire with an affirmed nod. “I’m guessing you are doing to this ball, then?”

Shiro nodded, turning back around. “Could you - ?”

“Of course.” Coran moved without any prompting, taking the brush from his hand. “Now, turn around.”

The first stroke tickled, running across the small of his back. Coran worked faster than him, jumping from scar to scar with practised ease as he spoke. “I know this likely had something to do with that tradition you told me about.” He paused for a moment, loading the brush with paint. “But gold has always had a special meaning the Alteans - aside from just being beautiful, of course. We always saw it as the colour of change. I’m guessing you had no idea about that, did you?”

“No,” said Shiro. Colours were important to Alteans: the colour of their hair, the colour of their marks. Of course, gold would also have a meaning to them, it just didn’t cross his mind until now. “Thank you, by the way. For doing this.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it!” Shiro could almost imagine the smile on Coran’s face, moustache twitching as his lips moved. “I’m just glad you didn’t stand up Allura. I’m guessing she’s the one who convinced you go – don’t even deny it!”

Shiro bit the side of his cheek, stopping the smile threatening to form. “There are a few other reasons, but yeah. She is.”

Coran hummed.  “She said she asked you to the ball just after you got back. Apparently, your answer was less than adequate - she was quite disappointed.”

 “Did she – you mean, like a -”

“- Date? Yes. I think that was the idea.”

Oh.

“I didn’t realise,” Shiro murmured. It crossed his mind, of course, but he wrote it off as distant fantasies.

“Well, there’s no point dwelling on it now. You’re going, and that’s all that matters.” Coran swiped the brush across his back a few more times, before stopping. “I think that’s just about it!”

Shiro smiled, turning to face the man. “Thanks. For everything.”

He saw the glimmer in Coran’s eyes at the comment, lighting up with pride. “Allura and the others have already gone to the palace,” Coran said with a smile. “I would suggest catching up with them right away.”

“Right. That.”

 

* * *

 

 

Getting to the castle took less time than Shiro thought. Every entrance into the city led toward the castle - it was just a matter of following one to the base of the stairs. The sun fell just beneath the horizon when he and Coran reached the top, the chill of the night keeping him cool. One mention of being the black paladin and they were through security, escorted through the halls to a circular, open-spaced room overlooking the city.

Shiro glanced around, trying to find a familiar face between the throngs of purple bodies. It wasn’t too hard to pick out Keith and Lance from the crowd, chatting (more like arguing) somewhere off to the side, against one of the many pillars. Hunk seemed to be in an in-depth conversation with what he assumed was the Chef. None of them noticed him come into the room.

“Shiro?”

And there was Pidge.

His heart jumped in his chest when he turned to face the Green paladin, her brow raised at his attire. “You look...different.” She smirked. “Wouldn’t happen to be trying to impress a certain someone, would you?”

“No, of course not.”

“ _Right_.” Pidge didn’t look convinced. “I’m guessing the gold paint wasn’t for... _oh_.”

Something clicked in Pidge as her eyes shifted over his torso, taking in the number of golden slashes across his chest. What were once simple decorations became much more in her eyes, and it showed. “I – sorry - “ She took in a deep breath, looking Shiro in the eye. “Gold is a nice colour on you.”

There was a pause, where Shiro felt like someone was about to crush his heart, and Pidge stared at him with a look he couldn’t place. Coran glanced between the two, waiting for one of them to make a move.

Pidge broke first. “I mean, gold looks nice on everyone – but, like, it looks nicer on you - but maybe also someone like Allura, y’know? I don’t know – I’ve never worn gold paint like that before - It looks to sticky for me...”

Pidge rambled on, talking about everything from the newest upgrade for her lion to the architecture of the city. Shiro only picked out bits and pieces, most of it going over his head, but enough to make sense of what she was talking about.

Her eyes caught something in the distance, and then she turned to Coran, sharing a look Shiro didn’t quite catch. “Uh, Coran. Could you accompany me to the buffet table? I think Shiro needs some time alone.”

Coran perked at the question, quickly following her line of sight. “Huh? Oh – of course, number five! Right, well. We’ll just be – uh -leaving, then. It was good seeing you!”

A moment later, with a tap on the shoulder and a princess clad in silver and gold in front of him, and he knew why they left. She looked like a goddess, her hair like starlight and her eyes filled with the cosmos. He could feel himself drowning in her presence, his lungs forgetting how to breathe, his heart skipping a beat. What kind of spell did she put over him, every time they saw each other?

He caught himself, forcing his brain to function normally. “You –uh- look beautiful, princess.”

Her face brightened. “Thank you,” she said, her brow quirking up as she gave him a once over. “You’re not looking too bad yourself.”

Biting back the smile that most definitely made its way onto his face, Shiro offered her his hand. He’d spent hours worrying about what the others would think, but now... he felt content. Like everything would be okay – and they would, he was sure.

“Do you want to dance?”

Allura rolled her eyes, smiling as she accepted the hand. “Such a gentleman,” she teased. With poise Shiro didn’t know he possessed, the pair moved to the dance floor, sliding their free hands together. She was so much shorter than him, barely coming up to his shoulders. “I’m glad you came, Shiro. If I’m being honest, I thought you wouldn’t.”

He could smell her shampoo. _God_ , he could smell her _shampoo_.

He cleared his throat, blood rising to his face. “Yeah, well... it helped. Knowing you’d be here.” Her brows were raised, but more out of curiosity than anything else. He took the jump. “Coran said you asked me out on a date back then.”

Allura’s hand twitched in his, her body going rigid before it relaxed. And then she smiled, shrugging it off like he had done before. “What do you want me to say? You mean a lot to me. I just thought... maybe we could be something more. Just for a moment.”

“I’d like that. If you’re still up to it.”

Allura blinked, staring at Shiro with a look he couldn’t quite place. “Shiro, are you....asking me out?”

“I think you already beat me to that.”

“True.” She giggled, shaking her head. And then they were moving, swaying to the low tempo of the music. “You wouldn’t keep a princess waiting, would you?”

Shiro grinned. “I wouldn’t dare.”

Their swaying turned into something more substantial, gliding over the dance floor, twisting and turning between other pairs in a seamless manner. Shiro’s sure he spotted Pidge and Coran at one point, and maybe Hunk, but his focus was only on Allura, smiling as she leaned in close, pressing her cheek against his chest.

She murmured something into his chest, more felt than heard. “What was that?”

“It’s just how I imagined,” she said, louder than before.

A surge of pride shot through him, both at reaching Allura’s expectations and that Allura actually _thought_ about dancing with him. He almost tripped over his own two feet. “Really? Just like you imagined?”

Allura huffed, her lips twitching up. “The paint is a surprise,” she conceded, “but it suits you... yeah, it’s just like I imagined.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’ve thought about this way more than I’d like to admit.” Among other things that required a man and a woman, but he saved that for the bedroom. “It’s perfect.”

“It seems both our dreams come true.” She sighed, her hands shifting from the palm of his hands to his stomach, and instead of dancing they swayed on the spot, content to turn in little circles. Shiro brought his hands round to cup Allura’s head, bringing her head back from the planes of his chest. Filling with a sudden confidence from some part of himself, he took his chance.

His dream had almost come true.

He didn’t know what drove him to lean forward, to drip down and brush their lips together. It could barely be called a kiss - more of a brush of the lips - but his stomach fluttered. Allura froze in front of him, hopefully out of surprise than disgust.

Her eyes fluttering between open and close when he looked, her face falling back onto his chest “...Oh,” she sighed.

...Maybe kissing her hadn’t been the best idea. He should have asked, or waited for a sign, or _something_ other than what he just did _._

“I’m sorry!” He said quickly. “I – uh – just got caught up in the moment - and – hmph!”

Allura was kissing him. _Allura was kissing him_. And it wasn’t a half-assed attempt like Shiro, but an actual, literal kiss: her lips warm against his own, smooth against his chapped. The fire in his stomach burned, overflowing through his body. He tried not to groan when Allura moved in, a hand slipping into the thin hairs of his undercut, pulling him into more than just a kiss.

When they broke apart, Shiro’s body buzzed for more, eyes glazed over. “That was...” he sighed. “Wow.”

Allura’s smiled softly. “I’d like to do this again. Maybe under less formal conditions.”

“Like this morning?”

Allura considered it, rolling the idea over in her head, before grinning. “Maybe with a few extra perks.”

Shiro laughed. “I could get used to that. Would kissing be one of them?”

“I’m sure we could fit it in somewhere.”

He wasn’t sure how long they stood there for, taking each other in as they turned. The ball passed by without them, noise drowning out before it could reach them. They were in their own little world, caught between each other’s eyes as time slowed and stopped.

But like everything, it didn’t last. He hated himself for it, but he’s fairly sure he caught Keith and Lance in a rather heated argument with the locals. Knowing Keith, it wouldn’t end well if he didn’t intervene. 

“Uh,” he cleared his throat, leaning back. “I should probably find the others. Keith’s not looking too good over there.”

Allura glanced over, and a raised brow told him she understood. “I think the king wanted to speak to me about some kind of peace deal anyway.”

That seemed... pretty important. Still, he had to know, before both of them took up the role of leaders again. “What... are we?” Allura stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “Uh – are we dating now? Or is this more of a casual thing?”

He hoped it was something more permanent than just messing around. He wanted it to be something bigger than just a fling, maybe something that could develop into more. The only question was if Allura felt the same.

He had nothing to worry about, if Allura’s face was anything to go by. “You big dummy,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I want to be with you, Shiro. Like Keith wants to be with Lance.”

“So... boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“If that’s what you want to call it, then yes. We’re girlfriend and boyfriend.” She smiled, testing the word on her lips. “That... doesn’t sound bad. I like it.”

Shiro was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. “I’m glad you think so.” He cleared his throat, stepping out of her embrace. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

A coy smile slipped onto Allura’s face. “You’ll see me later tonight.”

Oh... _oh_. “You mean... like...?” That seemed a little fast.

Allura stifled a laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up. Not yet. But I do want to spend more time with you – without that paint covering you up.”

He almost forgot about that. “Uh... are you sure you want to? I’m not exactly in perfect condition –“

“Yes, you are.”

 When he said nothing, she continued, slipping a hand back around his hips. “You don’t need some paint to remind you of who you are, Shiro. I’m sure you’re not the same man as the one on earth – but frankly, I love the man in front of me now. Scars and all.” She paused for a moment. “If anyone tells you otherwise, get me. I’ll beat some sense into them.”

Shiro smiled.  “Thanks.”

She nodded, more to herself than Shiro, before a sly smile slipped onto her face. “Besides, I want to see what you look like under that Sarong someday.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “And here I thought you liked me for my personality.” Not that Shiro would ever object if it went that far.

 And if Allura could accept him for who he was – scars and all - then he could too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is, haha. God, I wasn't even going to post this until I saw how long it's been since I've actually put something up - been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. I have been writing - I promise - it's just the editing part that I don't like... and the writing part. I'm not sure if I like this or not, but I got sick of seeing it in my editing folder. If you could leave a comment about what you thought - and maybe some constructive criticism - I'd be very happy!


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